I have eczema. It rarely rears up but the telltale signs came at the beginning of the year — last time was 6 or 7 years ago. I pulled out my arsenal of cremes, oils, salves, and homemade preparations right away — neem, calendula, tea tree, raw honey, and witch hazel, added to my usual daily supplements. I stocked up on bandages. I brought out my cotton boxers (why did I ever put them away??!). And I started daily oatmeal baths (ditto!). From experience I knew it could take months to clear with some waxing and waning along the way. The cause? I don’t know. There are plenty of theories but my preference is always o focus on moving forward rather than figuring out the past.
I was aware, though, that the outbreak coincided with growing frustration with a faculty appointment I have had for the past several years. Administrative and programmatic changes started late last year. With the first of 2015 came notice of significant, and unfavorable, changes in compensation. Things exacerbated further while I was out of the country last month.
I mostly sat with the initial changes, grumbling only to a few people I knew I could trust but otherwise remaining silent. When I learned of the latest round of changes, however, I knew that I could no longer be in integrity with myself and remain on faculty. I talked the situation over with friends but ultimately I was left feeling torn between loyalty to myself and my sense of felt responsibility for my doctoral mentees.
I thought a lot about the situation while I was away. And despite my best treatment my skin got worse. By the time I returned home from Mexico my entire lower body was red with rash, something that has never happened before. I continued my treatments but things didn’t improve much. I considered seeing my doctor but as much as he practices integrative medicine I knew he would recommend oral prednisone and hydrocortisone creme because things really were out of control. I didn’t want either, so I didn’t go.
I stewed over things at the University and the eczema and rash persisted. Then, late last week, as if by Divine intervention, the Universe upped the ante and kicked me in the butt. On Friday I resigned my faculty position in response, and set an intention for the best possible outcome for me and my mentees. And on Saturday I woke up and found my skin nearly clear! I’m not kidding. Literally like a light switch flipping off after months stuck in the on position, my symptoms had subsided so much that except for some pretty benign redness my skin looked normal.
There is nothing unusual about my experience. Louise Hay, Bruce Lipton, and others, have laid the spiritual and scientific foundation for creating the psychological space for healing physical ailments. For me the space came with releasing the source of what I had allowed to keep me out of integrity for many months. Doing so allowed my health to return to integrity in kind. While I am unsurprised in retrospect, I am as amazed as if I experienced a miracle.
If you are seeking physical healing of any kind be sure to create the psychological space that will serve as the foundation for healing. Certainly seek whatever somatic treatments make sense to you. But, know that without removing the psychological blocks to being in integrity with whole health, true healing is unlikely to happen as quickly or as completely as is possible. Need some help? Send me an email!
With Blessings and Gratitude,
from Santa Fe, New Mexico