New Year, New Relationship – 4 Must Know Tips!
It’s always interesting how many clients find themselves in new a new romantic relationship with the coming of the new year. I suspect there are at least two possible reasons: Many of us find ourselves feeling more joyful around year-end holidays so we emanate that energy and, as Law of Attraction dictates, like unto itself attracts. When we effuse joy, joyful things come back to us!
On the other hand, many of us experience extra stress over the holidays and the distraction that a new relationship provides can be particularly welcome.
Obviously, we want to start a new relationship in joy rather than out of distraction! As you might guess, entering a new relationship from a place of joy has much more staying power built in than a relationship borne out of distraction – unless we are so aligned with chaos that even a difficult relationship is a stronger point of attraction than a joyful one! But either way there is an opportunity to co-create something going forward that is simply powerful and fulfilling, and that honors each participant and the other, and maintains a healthy connection with the self.
Do you find yourself in a new relationship this new year? If so, which kind would you say it is? Comment now below and let us know!
So, the question I often get is, “How do I stay true to myself in a new relationship?” During the honeymoon period of newness, we all give much more than we can reasonably sustain. It’s natural and maybe that’s how it should be at least in the beginning. How, then, do we eventually settle back into our individual lives while still celebrating and giving to the new Us that we’re co-creating?
Here are my thoughts:
- Always build personal time into a relationship; schedule it if you have to! Few of us are good at maintaining the sanctity of personal time even when not in a relationship. We’re pulled in numerous directions at once and when you add a relationship to the mix there’s an even greater chance that you-time will suffer. A relationship should never pull or force you to make a choice. Carving out personal time will ensure that there is always time and that it never competes with your relationship.
- When the relationship tries to pull you to make choices you might not otherwise make (like skipping personal time!), deal straight-on with what that brings up for you and your partner. It’s a point of growth, not an impasse, and should strengthen your bond, not chip away at it.
- Think of a relationship like a Venn Diagram: Two intersecting circles with an overlap in the middle. On one side is Yourself. On the other is your Partner’s self. The overlap is where you each put things that you both can enjoy together. The two separate sides remind you that there are two selves outside the intersection. They will always be there. These must be held just as sacred as the intersection, and with no expectation that they will merge together.
- And, finally, keep a cheat sheet. Each time you notice something that your partner loves, jot it down (don’t just think you’ll remember, write or type it!). And every so often pick something and spontaneously do it. Starting this at the beginning of a relationship is best because with the newness there are always a lot more examples! (Once we get into a routine we tend to forget. And hence the list. 😁) It will not only send your partner over the moon… but it will take the pressure off you, and let you feel more free to think about Your self.
Let us know thoughts! Comment now below… or send a note now instead!
With blessings and gratitude,
From Santa Fe, NM US
Dr Mark
